Finding Her Men [Men of the Border Lands 7] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Read online

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “Like hell it doesn’t! Stop, Valerie, and let’s talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I made a mistake.”

  Grant felt Luke right behind him now. His younger brother knew what was going on in his head and wisely kept back to watch. Grant reached out and grabbed her arm, halting her progress with a start.

  She struggled and hauled back to hit him, but he caught her other hand in his and jerked her toward him. It pulled her off balance, and she fell forward into his chest. She didn’t seem to know what to do next. Her legs gave out, and she would have sunk into the snow had he not picked her up and carried her back to the house.

  Once inside, Luke shut the door, closing the cold snow and wind out of the house. Grant walked over toward the fireplace and sat her in an empty chair. She was shivering badly again, but at least her teeth weren’t chattering. If she got sick, it would be his fault for driving her away to begin with. Grant closed his eyes and grabbed on to his control with both fists.

  “Let’s start over, Valerie. Why did you knock on our door?”

  “I–I had been watching you and knew you were hard-working, good men. I figured that since you didn’t have a woman between you that you might take me in. I needed a place to live.”

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t have much choice. You were the best of the ones I had been watching. With winter closing in on me, I was forced to make a hasty decision. It looks like I chose the wrong home after all.”

  She started to get up, but Grant stood over her. He wasn’t letting her out of the house now. He’d lost it earlier. Something he never did. He was always in control, but that one phrase had turned him inside out.

  “I can’t stay here. You’ve made it obvious that you don’t want me. Let me go.”

  Luke walked over and knelt by the chair. He reached out and gently pushed a strand of hair out of her face. She followed his movement like a scared rabbit, ready to bolt at the first opportunity.

  “Valerie, we don’t want you to go, especially not while it is snowing like it is. Stay with us for now and we’ll get it all straightened out in the morning.”

  She looked from him to Grant then back at Luke.

  “You’re not going to let me go, are you?”

  “No, it’s too dangerous for you out there. You wouldn’t live out the night,” Grant said.

  She sighed and nodded her head.

  “Good girl. Let’s get you back to bed. You’re going to be sick if you stay in those wet clothes. They’re even worse now.”

  Grant watched as Luke coaxed the female into following him upstairs. He could hear their murmurs as they moved around in the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of the coffee from the stove, taking a bracing sip before returning to the living room and the fireplace. After what seemed like an hour, Luke walked back down the stairs with a scowl on his face.

  “What in the hell were you thinking?”

  “I wasn’t.” He wiped a hand over his face.

  “If she leaves this house, she’s going to die. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I fucking know it. I’m not letting her leave.”

  “You were thinking about her, weren’t you?” Luke asked.

  “She hit a nerve with that take care of me line. It was what Lydia said to me when she told me she was pregnant.”

  “Fuck, Grant. She was a two-timing bitch. Get over her and look at what the good Lord has laid in our laps. She’s beautiful.”

  “Somehow I don’t see her being too pleased with me right now. She’s not going to forgive me for rejecting her.”

  “Grovel, man. She’s perfect for us.”

  “Groveling is not in my blood, Luke.”

  “Well, you need to do something to apologize and tell her you want her to stay.” Luke looked at him with a worried expression. “You do want her to stay, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I want her to stay. It’s dangerous out there, and she’d never make it on her own. I don’t care how far she’s already come. Her luck would run out sooner rather than later.”

  “She doesn’t look or act anything like Lydia, Grant.”

  “Don’t you think I know that?”

  “So what are you going to do to convince her that you want her to stay?”

  “I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something, but she’s not going to leave.”

  “I have her settled in the bed for now. She’s still really cold. Do you think you could fix something for her to eat while I get her warm?”

  Grant smiled. “So you can hug up against her, you mean.”

  Luke’s wide smile was all the answer he needed. His brother was already smitten with the female, with Valerie, he corrected himself.

  “Go on upstairs and climb in with our guest. I’ll make some soup. That should help. Then we can add solid food tomorrow. If she hasn’t been eating regularly, we don’t want to push it.”

  “You’re probably right. Her clothes are at least one size too large for her, maybe even two. I can feel her ribs when I hug her up close.”

  Grant winced. He hadn’t even noticed any of that. Had he become so callous toward women that he wouldn’t notice when one was in trouble? He shook his head in self-disgust. He did owe her more than an apology.

  Luke hurried upstairs to see about Valerie, leaving Grant to fix some soup and think about the situation. A situation he couldn’t believe that he found himself in. He needed to apologize to a woman for making her feel unwelcome when she had nowhere else to go. That sucked, and he was the cause of it.

  Grant fixed up some canned soup from their pantry and a piece of leftover bread from some they had made up. It wasn’t great bread, but it was filling. He carried the bowl upstairs and took a deep breath before entering the room. He wasn’t sure what he would find, but seeing her stretched out on top of Luke wasn’t something he expected to see.

  He cleared his throat. “I’ve got soup for you, Valerie.”

  “She’s asleep, Grant.” Luke raised his head around her body.

  “Well, she needs to eat it while it’s warm. Wake her up.”

  Luke nodded and leaned in toward her. “Valerie? Wake up. The soup is ready.”

  She moaned but lifted her head then scrambled off of Luke, causing him to grunt and wince. Her face was an interesting shade of pink. Grant chose to ignore it and sit the bowl on the bedside table.

  “Let’s get you sitting up in bed to eat.” He lifted her under the arms, marveling at how little she actually weighed.

  “I’m naked. I can’t sit up and eat like this.”

  Grant realized she was right. He pulled off his long-sleeve shirt and handed it to her. She took it and, after holding it a minute, slipped it over her head. She stared at Grant’s chest. Then as if realizing what she was doing, she dropped her eyes. Grant handed her the soup.

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll be back. I’m going to get something else to put on. It’s cold in here.” He turned around and walked out the door toward his bedroom.

  He lingered there even after he had put on another shirt. She had looked entirely too good in his. It made him want to tear it off of her and lay her back on the bed and…Fuck. He needed to concentrate on winning her forgiveness before he screwed up again. Why had he let the past in after all this time? Nine freaking years, and he hadn’t let it bother him.

  Not true and you know it, Grant. You’ve been wallowing in it since you found out she lied to you. He had treated every woman he had been with since then like a thing, someone to scratch an itch then set aside when it was over. Grant stifled the urge to throw something across the room. When would he learn to let go of how he had been manipulated? It was over, for god’s sake.

  Grant made himself walk back into the master bedroom. He grabbed a chair and dragged it over to the bed and sat down, watching Valerie eat. When she looked up at him, worry washed acros
s her face. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  “Valerie, I owe you a sincere apology. I never meant to make you feel unwanted. I overreacted because of something that happened in the past. It’s no excuse, but I am sorry.” He waited for what seemed like forever for her to say something.

  She licked her lips and looked over at Luke, then back at him. She swallowed and opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Finally she spoke.

  “I don’t want to stay here if you don’t want me here, Grant. If I’m going to remind you of someone else and it isn’t a good memory, maybe it would be better if I leave when the snow clears up. There’s another group of men that lives further down the mountain that I thought about. I’m sure they will take me in.”

  “No!” Luke all but yelled. “We want you to stay here with us. You don’t want to take a chance on someone you know nothing about.”

  “She doesn’t know us either, Luke. She’s taking a chance on us.”

  “Who do you think she’s talking about?” Luke persisted.

  “Um.” He thought about it. Then he growled. “No, absolutely not. You aren’t going to them. There are three of them. They’re the McKinleys. They would have you working your fingers to the bone and using you like a whore.”

  “We would never hurt you,” Luke promised her. “Tell her, Grant.”

  “He’s right, Valerie. I would never hurt you. You could help out some around the house and the garden, but you wouldn’t be expected to take care of everything.”

  “But you don’t really want me, do you, Grant?”

  “Honey, it’s not that I don’t want you. I’m just not sure that you would be happy with me. You and Luke will get along just fine. Let’s leave it at that for now.” He sighed and stood up again. “I’m going to go check on the animals before it’s time to go to bed.”

  With that, he left Luke and Valerie there and hurried down the stairs to put as much distance between them as possible. He needed to work out some stress now. It was a good thing they had animals to tend to, or he would have been forced to shovel snow at night for the hell of it.

  * * * *

  Valerie finished the soup and chewy bread, thinking that she could do much better cooking than they seemed to be able to do. She would be able to help them if they let her stay. But could she handle Grant and his slightly cold treatment of her?

  “What do you say, Valerie? You’ll stay, won’t you? We really need your help around here with cooking. And I like you, Valerie.” Luke rubbed her shoulder.

  “Is it just about the sex, Luke?”

  “No! I’ll be honest with you, though. I can’t help but think how good it could be with you, but that’s not the real reason I want you to stay. I want a family and something of a normal life. All I’ve ever known since I was a kid is first, Grant taking care of me when our dad took off, leaving Mom to work two jobs. Then, this blasted world we live in now when I was finally old enough to live on my own. I want a friend and a companion and maybe one day, kids.”

  “That sounds really nice, Luke, but what about Grant? Where does he fit in all of that? He’s your brother.”

  “He’s also one of the most stubborn men I’ve ever known. The fact that he not only apologized to you, but explained some of the reason why is more than I’ve ever seen him do. He likes you, Valerie, but he’s been hurt, and I’m not sure he’ll ever get over it.”

  “I don’t know, Luke. Let me think about it. With the snow coming down like it is, it’s bound to be a while before I can leave again anyway.”

  “Promise me that you won’t leave without telling me first. Don’t sneak out one day and leave me worrying.”

  “I promise not to leave without talking to you.” She hoped it wouldn’t come to her leaving at all, but she just didn’t know if she could handle her attraction to Grant when he wasn’t attracted to her.

  She lusted after both men, but with Grant not wanting her, she didn’t know if a relationship with just Luke would work, or if she would be miserable without Grant included. There was something about him that called to her. Maybe it was his need to be fixed. She had always been a nurturer. She’d helped raise five kids as a youngster herself. That was one reason it had been so difficult to leave the other family behind. She had wanted to be a part of the baby’s life.

  That was water under the bridge now. They were lost to her. She had to decide what to do about her life. She needed to figure out if it could work with Luke and Grant. She had at least a couple of days to find out.

  Luke pulled her back into his arms and kissed her shoulder before settling down. She rested her head on his shoulder and wondered what the future held for her. She could easily see herself settling down with Luke if Grant hadn’t been in the picture. If she hadn’t already been attracted to him, she would have said yes immediately, but she couldn’t hide her attraction for long. Luke would realize it eventually. Maybe this wouldn’t work out after all.

  “Don’t think so hard over there, Valerie. Everything will work out. You just have to relax and believe it will. Tomorrow, everything will look better.”

  “Nothing is that simple, Luke. Look at the world we live in now.”

  “That’s why I think it is that simple. We live off the land and have no one to prove anything to. We get along with our neighbors and help each other as we can. But there is no one to please other than us. Nothing can be simpler than that.”

  She sighed. “Maybe you’re right, and I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.”

  “Of course I’m right. I’m always right.” He squeezed her under the breasts where his arm was wrapped around her.

  Valerie could feel the hard ridge of his cock against her lower back. He hadn’t tried anything with her, nor had he hinted at wanting her right then. She was grateful because she didn’t feel like sex and sure as hell didn’t want things to start out all about sex if they were going to forge a relationship. One thing she knew was that if everything was based on sex, it wouldn’t last.

  Chapter Three

  Valerie woke up the next morning wrapped around Grant like an octopus. Darn. He wouldn’t like that, she was sure. She quickly and carefully pulled away, trying not to wake him.

  “It’s okay, Valerie. I’m awake.”

  She let out a breath in a sigh. He sounded as if he was resigned to having her there in his bed, but he didn’t sound thrilled about it. What was she going to do?

  “Do you need to get up?”

  “Um, yes. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I’ve been awake for a while. I didn’t want to wake you up. You needed to sleep.” He rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed.

  When he stood up, she realized he was wearing thermal pants. She knew Luke wasn’t. The realization dropped her spirits even lower. This would never work out.

  “Come on, you need to hurry or you’ll catch pneumonia. Put on my shirt again.”

  Valerie scrambled out of the bed and dove into his shirt. He was right. She would get sick if she didn’t hurry. She nearly ran to the bathroom, finished up in there, and ran back. She climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to her nose. Grant was nowhere to be seen. He had probably gone to get dressed.

  “Hmm, you’re cold.” Luke’s voice came out in a low, scratchy rumble.

  “I had to go to the bathroom. I’ll warm up in a minute.”

  He moved closer to her and wrapped her in his arms. “I’ll warm you up.”

  She allowed herself the luxury of relaxing into his embrace. She couldn’t help but want to experience it even if it was short-lived. The feeling of warmth and acceptance enveloped her, and she smiled. This is what it would feel like to have a man of her own. The sobering reminder that Grant was part of that equation had her stiffening in Luke’s arms.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, just thinking. I suppose I better get up. I should cook breakfast.”

  “Naw, right now you are a guest. You haven’t agreed to be our woman
yet, so you don’t have to cook.”

  “That’s kind of you, but I have to say that I like my cooking a bit better than Grant’s.”

  “I agree with you. Mine is even worse.” Luke squeezed, and then released her. “We better find you something to wear. Your clothes are in a heap on the floor, so they are bound to still be damp.”

  Valerie groaned. She didn’t want to get out from under the warm covers if she didn’t have anything to wear.

  “Stay there. I’ll find something for you. I’m going to run and dress first.”

  Valerie snuggled further beneath the covers and waited. She thought while she did, which probably wasn’t in her best interests. She tended to jump to conclusions and talk herself out of what she should do. Like she should give them a chance and stay with them. Her mind told her she was grasping at straws and wasting her time.

  But I can’t go anywhere in the snow and cold. I’m stuck here for winter unless I can talk them into taking me to someone else. Somehow I don’t see that happening. And if I stay here through the winter, how will I be able to leave them then?

  Valerie bit her lower lip and waited on Luke to return. She couldn’t do anything about it right away anyway. For now, all she could do was wait and see.

  “Here you go. I found some smaller warm-ups. They’ll still swallow you whole, but we can tie them tight with the drawstring and roll up the legs so you can walk.” He held them up with a grin on his face.

  Valerie jumped out of the bed and climbed into the too-large sweats. She pulled off Grant’s shirt and put on the sweatshirt. It did swallow her, but it was warm.

  “Sit on the bed and I’ll roll up the legs for you. Damn, we should have put these socks on first. Hold on while I get them on your feet. I think you can wear your own shoes with them. We’ll sit them by the fireplace to dry out if they are still wet.”

  “Thanks, Luke. I appreciate it.”

  He just smiled and finished what he was doing. Once he had her dressed, he stood up and held out his hand.

  “Let’s go see what’s for breakfast. It should be edible, if nothing else.”